Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
