I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
