walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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