u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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