it's too hot outside to masturbate.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
