Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
