I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
