it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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