Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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