I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
