So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I would fuck him just for his dog
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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