I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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