Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize