I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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