my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
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