So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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