May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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