the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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