There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
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I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
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Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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