dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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