FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
