You made me cry and you don't even care
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
