I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
never play flip cup with pint glasses
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
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he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
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I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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