No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
