Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
