I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
