My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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