Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
