rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
