So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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