Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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