If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
