Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
