I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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