i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
