how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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