Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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