yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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