just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
just tell him i said nine months
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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