When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
