In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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