I got her a Nickelback box set.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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