I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
