i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
No...this little piggys going to the bar
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
