The best revenge is premature balding
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
