I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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