He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
he puts the penis in happiness.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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