Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
