i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
