im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
