Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
