I bet he comes in French.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize