I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
So much rum. So many feels.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
