god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
i've created a new STD.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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