it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
