You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Are my feet made of real feet?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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